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TODAY YOU MAY WITHDRAW: NIL

One of the many, many joys of freelancing is that newspapers are under no real obligation to pay you when they’re supposed to. Payment may be a day late. It may be a week late. It may even be a month late. Apologies, excuses or explanations are rarely offered. As someone who has been used all his life to being the unreliable party in any relationship I’ve ever been in – personal or professional – it’s been quite a shock to the system.

Right now, I have only €8.59 left in the world.

I have no idea how long it will have to last me. So if you bump into me on the street, don’t be shy. I’m not a proud man. Feel free to offer me 20c or half a sandwich or whatever you can spare. I’m also available to do any odd jobs you might have. I’ll donate an organ, hell I’ll even whack someone if the money is right. In the meantime, here’s a long frugality opus I wrote last time I was this skint.