Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
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…OR HAVE I JUST BLOWN YOUR SANDWICH-EATING MIND?
Still settling in to the new neighbourhood. Found a pretty nice, and more importantly real (see here), deli nearby today. Unfortunately, by the time I rolled in there wasn’t much produce left. Maybe it’s the recession, but I wanted chicken and, even after padding it out with stuffing, there clearly wasn’t going to be enough to fill the roll.
Lesser sandwich aficionados would have given up and gone elsewhere.
The lad behind the counter was only 18 or 19 years old.
What’s your name, son?, I asked. Muhammad, he replied.
Well Muhammad, I said, you and I are about to do something special here today. But you’re going to have to trust me and do exactly as I say. Do you understand?
He just shrugged, whatever.
Mayonnaise, a little mustard, some chicken, a sprinkling of stuffing and a hint of red onion… That was the easy part. It was only when I asked him to fetch a couple of those juicy looking cocktail sausages from the hot counter, that his eyes widened.
Relax, I smiled, I know what I’m doing. But that wasn’t strictly true. I was rolling the dice here and I knew it.
Lucky for me, it paid off.
The finished product looks disgusting, I’ll grant you that. But holy moly, I think I’ve just invented one of the nicest sandwiches of all time. You’ve got to try it. I’m still working on a snappy name – something like Bangers n’ Chick, but less lame. All suggestions gratefully received!
September 30th, 2009 at 12:50 am
Eoin, here’s the deal. I’ll order a Sasuage and Chicken roll tomorrow for my lunch. If it’s as nice as you say, fair play.
If it’s not you have to send me a money order for €5.50 — deal??
September 30th, 2009 at 8:15 am
You’ve sold me – as God is my witness I know what I’m having for lunch today!
September 30th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Colonel Eoin’s Chicken Surprise!
September 30th, 2009 at 9:12 am
@ FM – wait a second, why am I paying for your lunch?
@ Massey – not bad, will I have to grow a little goatee now?
September 30th, 2009 at 11:26 am
poultry and sausage meat, mmmm christmassy
September 30th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Not as Christmassy as turkey and sausage meat… Christ, I could make millions here. But it needs a snappy title!
Blahblahblah-all-suggested-names-are-copyright-eoinbutler.com-blahblahblah….
September 30th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
*Shakes his head*
So you’ve moved to some posh place with it’s wine bars, commercial art and anti-clamping laws. At what cost ?
You pick up your Marco Pierre White roll from the deli only to see the look of disgust on the common man’s face so you overcompensate with some deep fried cocktail sausages.
I’d call it “The guilt-ridden middle class sellout special”
September 30th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
My mind is blown Butler, lunchtimes will never be the same…
September 30th, 2009 at 2:04 pm
For the record I was being sarcastic there, I’m not sure if that came across!
September 30th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
I had my suspicions alright, EK…
September 30th, 2009 at 2:37 pm
Turkey, sausage stuffing and gravy in a roll, called “Butler’s Christmas in a Roll” with the slogan “Now it really can be Christmas every day!”
September 30th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Butseys Chausage Butty?
September 30th, 2009 at 3:35 pm
@ Kev – could do with some work
@ Matt – I think you’ve nailed it. Now all I need are suppliers, manufacturers, packaging, transport, food industry contacts etc.
September 30th, 2009 at 6:51 pm
Ah sure I know.But what do ya think of the sandwich name?
September 30th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
It’s brilliant kev, you’re a great fella. If I had a criticism it’d be the repetition of ‘butt’, which might have unappetising associations for potential customers.
Similarly, the use of the word ‘chausage’ might baffle people, or worse still lead them to assume it’s an inferior compound meat like spam etc.
But I liked everything else about it!
September 30th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
fyi eoin – you don’t owe me €5.50 sandwich place today didn’t have cocktail sausages. tomorrow will be the day of reckoning!!
September 30th, 2009 at 10:03 pm
That’s a weight off, Fintan (this is sarcasm). Let us know how it goes tomorrow though (this is not)!
October 1st, 2009 at 12:39 am
Apologies Eoin,I didnt intend to demean the nutritional worth of prime cut hot-counter cocktail sausage.
October 1st, 2009 at 8:34 am
call it the Butler Sub or something,
Fancy version:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/chickenbreaststuffed_87822.shtml
October 1st, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Well Eoin,
The big news is I tried your idea, the Butler Chausage or whatever you’re calling it. It was in an O’Brians Sandwich Shop and I had some trouble convincing the guy that I wanted chicken and not bacon with the sausage.
To cut a long story short it was really nice and you definitely don’t owe me €5.50 anyways. I eagerly await any future sandwich advice you may have.
Fintan
October 1st, 2009 at 3:27 pm
@ Conal – you really have a flair for this sort of thing, don’t you?
@ Fintan – sweet, sweet vindication. Stay tuned for more sandwich-related insights as and when they occur to me.
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:52 am
[…] thought either. It would be a waste of my time. And when you consider I spent most of Wednesday talking about a sandwich, that’s saying […]
October 2nd, 2009 at 11:33 pm
I have nothing to add to the sandwich name debate… I only want to add to the comments as I think this post has had the most comments to date. I’m all for new records.
October 3rd, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Not the most comments Brian, I believe that would be…
http://www.eoinbutler.com/home/decent-proposal/
October 3rd, 2009 at 8:38 pm
what ever happened with that proposal?
October 4th, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Thanks for bringing that up again EK…
A week or so after the fuss died down, I emailed the girl back, admitted that I probably shouldn’t have posted her email and apologised for any hurt or embarrassment caused.
To cut a long story short, she accepted my apology.
October 4th, 2009 at 3:41 pm
Um, so did you go on the date?! Cos, like, as much as I try I can’t get a certain someone we both know whose name starts with a “P” and ends with an “atsey” to find out… Then again, I have a suspicion that this may be none of my business. I have another suspicion that you may now (if you read your incoming links) suspect that I am (a) mad or (b) the email girl’s “friend”, and I am not either of the above.
October 4th, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Rosemary, no. I think her friend was just so mortified about the original email and me posting it online etc. that she preferred to forget the whole thing.
As I said, I now accept that posting the email (even with all names, incriminating details redacted wasn’t a very nice thing for me to do.)
October 4th, 2009 at 6:07 pm
P.S. “P” and “atsey”… Yes, I think I can just about decode who you’re referring to. No, I know you’re not the email girl’s friend – she had a different name and was an established BLEEP at a reputable BLEEP agency. And I’m sure you’re quite sane!
October 4th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Do you, eh, still think I’m sane?!
October 20th, 2009 at 5:14 am
[…] (There rest of the story – if you read down to the very last comments – is related here.) […]