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WARREN BEATTY HAD SEX WITH 12,775 WOMEN*

*Well, that’s according to this utterly bizarre article I’ve just read in the Guardian. Biographer Peter Biskind came up with the figure by calculating the number of days that passed from the day Beatty (pictured above between shags) lost his virginity at 19 to the date in 1991 when he met Annette Bening and presumably became monogamous. Biskind “then applied the admittedly questionable logic that during that entire period Beatty slept with an average of one woman a day.” Not sure how scientific his methods are then, although the same technique could more accurately be used to work out how many times I’ve fallen asleep watching Oireachtas Report.

The very next article in the Guardian reports that South African president Jacob Zuma has just taken a third wife (and celebrated by throwing an impromptu hoedown.) To sum up the situation then, at the dawn of this new decade, it would appear that pretty much single other person in the entire universe is getting more action than me. Plus ca change.