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I HAVE CLIMBED THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN…

…And I have roamed through the fields. A mighty nettle stung me and then I got chased by a bullock. Read the rest of this article here.

THIS IS FUNNY

FAITH ALIVE (TOUCHINESS EDITION)

1. Muslims riot in Athens, injuring fourteen, over the alleged defacing of a Koran by a Greek policeman.
2. Fundamentalist Sikhs shoot Sikh preacher dead in Viennese temple over alleged disrespect of their Holy Book.
3. Which in turn sparks massive riots in Punjab.
4. Come on people, religion isn’t about fussin’ and fightin’. It’s about gettin’ down…

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE (1939)

SOCK IT TO ME, POPS

Pop quiz: Would you be willing to slap your father in the face, with his permission, as part of a comedy skit? And, secondly: would it disgust you to discover that you had accidentally taken a sip from an acquaintance’s drink?

Your response to these questions, apparently, reveals much about your likely political orientation. Read the rest of this entry »

STADIO OLIMPICO, ROMA. 19.45 G.M.T. (UPDATED)

Last weekend, thirty gurning, fat-headed repressed homosexuals groped each other for 80 minutes in Murrayfield to determine whether Leinster or Leceister could call themselves European champions in a sport that 90% of Europeans don’t even know exists, let alone participate in. Tonight is the real deal.

Kickoff in the Champions League final is almost upon us and, I gotta admit, I’m running around like a kid on Christmas morning. This year the two best teams, with a dozen or so of the continent’s most exciting players – Messi, Ronaldo, Iniesta, Rooney, Henry, Eto’o, Giggs, Xavi, er… John O’Shea – will battle it out to see who lifts the only European trophy that matters. Read the rest of this entry »

MISCELLANEOUS AMUSING ITEMS I’VE COME ACROSS #7

Nuff respect 2 da big guy, innit? – Findlater’s Church, Parnell Square, Dublin 1

AGNES, QUEEN OF SORROW (2004)

“YOUR ROOK IS ATTACKED AND SHORTLY AFTER I’LL TAKE ANOTHER PAWN. THIS IS A POSITION TO DIE FOR, IN FACT…”

‘You’re not doing very well, I’m afraid.” It’s Wednesday morning and Eamon Keogh and I are playing chess on the banks of the Grand Canal. It’s a glorious sunny day and a gaggle of swans have glided over to see what’s going on. But the two-time Irish champion is unimpressed. He tuts quietly and leans across the table to offer some constructive criticism. Read the rest of this article here.

KARL SPAIN WANTS TO EAT A WOMAN*

Been getting a bit of flack over my interview with comedian Karl Spain in last Saturday’s Irish Times. “So mean to poor Karl Spain,” says one distraught fan. “He’s a lovely guy.” My friend Mark takes the opposite view. “Jesus, Butler,” he writes. “You could have gotten away with calling Karl Spain fat a few more times… ‘Fat-faced funnyman Karl Spain’… ‘Karl Spain Wants to Eat a Woman’… Something subtle like that…” Read the rest of this entry »