Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
Pub
Published: Evening Herald, March 2009THE DAWSON LOUNGE
‘Probably the Smallest Pub in Dublin’, boasts the Carlsberg sign outside The Dawson Lounge.
Dublin pubs are places where men can go to drown sorrows and nurse grievances. So it is only right that the smallest put should this afternoon be the venue for two of the city’s pettiest citizens to air their shallowest grievances.
“Arjen Robben,” I announce, out of the blue.
“What about him?” asks Aidan.
“If I had an identical bald twin, I think that’s who it would be.” Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, December 2008ASHLING HOTEL
Someone once told me that the longer the pause a person leaves after telling you they need to ask a favour, the bigger the favour they’re likely to ask. A short pause signifies a small favour, such as “Can you pass me that newspaper?”
A longer pause signifies a bigger favour. “Can you lend me this month’s rent?” perhaps, or “I’m going to need that last parachute.” Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, August 2008Irish Film Institute
It’s just one of those unfortunate incidents that occur from time to time. A random accident about which no great fuss should be made and from which no big conclusions should be drawn. This is what I tell Michelle. But she still looks rather appalled.
“You did what?” she gasps.
“Shhhh…” I giggle.
I whisper it again.
“I think I just exposed myself to a little old lady”. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, September 2008GROGAN’S
It’s closing time on Monday night and Aidan and I are sitting in front of at a pair of empty glasses. For the last five minutes, he has been engaged in a freewheeling mobile phone conversation with I’m not sure who.
“Ah, not a lot now” he’s saying. “Myself and Butler are finishin’ a pint in Grogans. Just scratching our balls to be honest. Probably head home after and see if herself is feeling frisky…”
Then person on the other end says something and Aidan makes a face.
“Sorry, who am I speaking to?” he inquires. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, January 2008THE PEMBROKE
There’s no mistaking the large Nigerian guy at the bar. He’s clutching a pint of MiWadi orange and regarding his surroundings with perceptible distain. He doesn’t beat about the bush.
“My good friend” he begins (and I know what’s coming next…) “You must accept Jesus into your life. God has a plan for you, my friend.” Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, November 6 2008The Bailey
Christ it’s Hallowe’en night, isn’t it? Well, either that or war has broken out. Gunships are on the Liffey. Bombardment of Dublin city centre has commenced. No, no… I’ve checked the calendar. It’s Halloween alright. Read the rest of this entry »
PUB WITH NO NAME
Before I begin this week, I’d like to address a few words to the Garda Traffic Bureau: Officers, lads… I know we’ve had our differences down the years. We’ve both said things that, in the cold light of day, we probably regret. But look what you’ve reduced me to. I’m using public transport. Dear God, hasn’t this madness gone far enough? Read the rest of this entry »
Zumo Juice Bar
“Barkeep. Hit me with a Blueberry Burst – and don’t spare the blueberry!”
Read the rest of this entry »
RODY BOLANDS
My phone is ringing. It’s Aidan. I might have guessed. “You know the way life isn’t fair..?” he begins. As opening gambits go, this is one of his better efforts. (The last time he rang with bad news, he went with “You were never too fond of that coffee table, were you?”) Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, August 2008THE FLOWING TIDE
I’ve got a very embarrassing problem and I don’t know where to turn.
For eleven consecutive days now, I’ve had the The Script’s cheesy smash hit The Man Who Can’t Be Moved playing in a constant loop in my head. If the situation continues, I may have to seek psychiatric assistance.
“The irony in all of this” I tell Declan and Tina, over a pint in the Flowing Tide. “Is that 95% of me despises the song. Hates it. Thinks it’s just the plot from some ludicrous chick flick set to music.” Read the rest of this entry »