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And a mediocre birthday to you!
Today is my mother’s birthday. It’s an ordinary birthday (without a zero on the end) so I think it deserves an ordinary present. Therefore, with the mediocre present-buying acumen for which I am renowned, I hereby present…
1. Complete ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ DVD Box Sets. I don’t know if my mother is a fan of the middlebrow comedy stylings of Ray Romano. But after sitting through this 210-episode bumper box set, she’d fucking better be. No need to visit anytime soon, Mammy – that’s nine whole seasons to get through. You’re welcome!
2. Framed photograph of John O’Shea. The genius of the €9 framed John O’Shea photograph is it’s amazing utility. Should one of your regular wall decorations become temporarily unavailable, this slots in just about anywhere: sitting room, kitchen, back kitchen, toilet or even in the turf shed. So whether relaxing with family members, or entertaining friends, this is one wall fixture guaranteed to just about do.
3. Sign Shop Gift Voucher. How often have you walked past a sign shop and thought, well, I’d like to buy someone a sign, but I don’t know which one they want? Don’t worry, help is at hand with the a sign shop gift voucher. (The sign shop on Capel Street really does offer gift vouchers. Look closely.The other signs are made of vinyl. The ‘gift voucher’ sign is just a sheet of A4 paper in a plastic sleeve.)
4. All of Someone’s Belongings. What do you steal for the person who has everything? How about a blue folder and all of someone else’s earthly possessions? Cheap at half the price!
April 19th, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Nice one never knew you had a blog, ive a few Mongrel scans on mine actually. Big fan, seriously your one of my main writing inspirations man. Um dont let my poor writing get you down though iv only been at it a few months.
Publishing the Mondo cease-and-desist was classic.
April 19th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
Oh yeah, who was yer one in the “like a ferret trying to escape from a ball of silly putty” pic?
Kudos if that was someones aul lass or something.
April 19th, 2011 at 4:12 pm
Happy Birthday to Anne, mother of Eoin etc. I am an old Irish women. Sometimes when I think of family I think I should have gone to the convent.
April 20th, 2011 at 12:00 am
@ Done – Thanks, best of luck with that.
P.S. If I remember correctly, the publisher of the magazine found that photograph in a lost and found somewhere.
@ Sharon – Ah, I’m sure that’s not true 🙂
April 22nd, 2011 at 5:43 pm
Fantastically eclectic bunch of responses there, ha!
Joyeux Anniversaire from across the world for the mammy, Eoin.
(That’s actually a decent shot of the Waterford Wrecker!).
April 25th, 2011 at 3:28 pm
Thanks Dermot. I may be putting in a tour of duty somewhere even dodgier than Afghanistan this summer. I’ll talk more about that when the details are finalised!
April 26th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
My birthday is next month. Any chance you might turn your incredible gift buying skills in my direction?
April 26th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
@ Alex – once years ago when I had a proper job we had work secret Santa. Presents were supposed to cost roughly €10, so I got the guy 40 Benson & Hedges. And I betcha he got good use out of them too.
I don’t know if you smoke, so I might play it safe and get you an energy saving light bulb. Howzat?