Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
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Badass sentences I’d love to have appear in my obituary but am realistic enough to realize never will #347
From the obituary for Israeli spy chief David Kimche which appeared in the Sunday Times today…
He became known as the “man with the suitcase”, appearing in various African states shortly before dramatic coups and disappearing again quickly afterwards.
March 14th, 2010.
March 15th, 2010 at 1:25 am
Hi eoin
haven’t been on the blog in a while. lots of laughs to catch up on. you’re still young i think – lots of time yet to dabble in african politics!
btw loved the speed dating article in the irish times a few weeks ago. very funny.
March 15th, 2010 at 9:36 am
Thank you Steve.
March 16th, 2010 at 12:06 pm
Extracts:
Sir Eoin Buler was found dead today aged 157 in the Al Maktoum Dubai harem, two courtesans were also found dead alongside his body from exhaustion.
Sir Eoin made his fortune in the early 21st century through his invention and successful application of wireless electricity, the Global iNap Network and the Butler Chausage franchise. He would later use his vast wealth to purchase Estonia, and rename it Butlerwozere, in the first corporate takeover of a country.
He will be more fondly remembered in his native McDonaldland (formerly Oirishland)for his many writngs and musings, most notably ‘The Stoneybatter Trilogy’, ‘Heaven Knows I’m Miserable’ and children’s favourite ‘Why Go Bald?’.
He his survived by his 5 wives, 38 legitimate children, 278 grandchildren and great-grandchildren and his faithful robo-beagle, Morrissey.
Traditional Atheist Pongo Service to take place at Hitchens Cola Cathedral at 7pm followed by fireworks and ice-cream.
March 16th, 2010 at 3:16 pm
@ Colin – okay, no way would i call my country Butlerwozhere. I’d call it something cool, like Dudesville.
March 16th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
@Eoin: Guess that’s true, you’d probably have every single person cleansed from Estonia in a crazed tyrant move just so you could say “Welcome to Dudesville, poulation: me”.
March 16th, 2010 at 4:50 pm
Some true badass action @
http://www.cracked.com/article_17019_5-real-life-soldiers-who-make-rambo-look-like-pussy_p1.html
March 16th, 2010 at 5:46 pm
@ EK – Homotown? I like it…
@ David – I’m sure they’re all great guys, but that style of prose makes my head hurt.