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I COMMITTED A CRIME, OH LORDY, CRIME A’ BEING HUNGRY AND POOR*
You want the truth? You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth… I’m an innocent man! My father was an innocent man! I’m going out the front door with Gerry… Only you can set me free, cos I’m guilty (guilty!) of love in the first degree… etc. etc. Yes, yes, today was my long awaited court appearance. I won’t say what for since (a) I don’t want to further incriminate myself and (b) anything you imagine is likely to be waay more badass than what the truth actually is. Maybe it’s because I have a very narrow frame of reference here. But the judge really reminded me of Judge Judy. He hadn’t much of a sense of humour… But then, I suppose, that was always a long shot.
It was an interesting experience nonetheless. Hanging out with a dozen or so fellow ludramans and ne’er-do-wells was an education – some of their excuses were even worse than mine! But its not an experience I’d relish going through again.
N.B. When it comes to fighting the law with predictable consequences, I have a small bit of a track record.
June 5th, 2009 at 5:16 pm
@ Eoin – are we gonna get a clue even?
June 5th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Kiddie fiddling would be the most obvious fit. Just throwin it out there, like
June 5th, 2009 at 6:54 pm
My money’s on loitering
June 7th, 2009 at 1:26 pm
Yes i think he was cruising for kids
June 7th, 2009 at 2:09 pm
Exposing yourself in supermacs?
June 7th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
@ Eddie – no
@ El Kid & Jenny – thanks a lot
@ Matt – as a Woody Allen fan, I know that loitering is a crime that doesn’t pay
@ Darragh – no, but I did once accidentally expose myself in the IFI. Got away with it on that occasion
http://www.eoinbutler.com/pub/irish-film-institute/
June 7th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
Have they finally caught up with you over the thing with the tomato…?
June 7th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
@ Nealser – i’ve been changing towns, switching identities last couple of years… reckon that trail has gone cold by now!
June 11th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
the trail will never be cold as long as there are witnesses Eoin, like a sword of Damocles!
June 11th, 2009 at 2:29 pm
As long as there are witnesses, eh? Food for thought there… (evil laugh)
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:27 pm
[…] I finally received the summons (ironically, on the day of an entirely seperate court appearance) I consulted a solicitor who specialises in traffic offenses. He recognised the name of the garda […]