@Eoin: yes, but the first step is wanting to stop…
So my final contributions: I’ve got (ski) poles but I’m not Polish. Or else I’ve got bruises (from crashing into a tree today – for real) but I’m not a bruiser.
1. Golden Graham’s “I’ve Got a Crypt But I’m Not a Cryptographer” (wtf!)
2. Fat Tony’s “I’ve Got Dermot but I’m Not a Dermatologist” and
3. Padraig’s “I’ve Got Fleas But I’m Not John Cleese”
there was a young man from ‘haunis
who’s ears were so small it would taunt us
said he with a nappy
while i hope to be happy
baby shit stories will haunt us
I’ve got apples but I’m not Appalachian.
I’ve got oranges but I’m not a member of the Orange Order.
I’ve got bananas but I’m not a Banana Republic customer.
I’ve got plums but I’m not a plumber.
December 17th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I’ve got crack but I’m not a Cracker?
This could go on all day.
December 17th, 2009 at 11:22 pm
I’ve got milk but I’m not a milkman? No… on second thoughts its got to be a total non-sequitor.
(Inspired obviously by that Killers song, which I just heard in a shop…)
December 17th, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I’m butch but i’m not a butcher
December 17th, 2009 at 11:34 pm
Holy shit, that’s pretty damn quick off the mark Han Shan
December 17th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
I’ve got pasta but I’m not a pastor
December 18th, 2009 at 12:21 am
I’ve got Wood, but I’m not Woods, Tiger.
(Topical stretch)
December 18th, 2009 at 12:38 am
I’ve got libraries but I’m not a librarian??
December 18th, 2009 at 1:10 am
@ Colin – I’ll give you topical. And stretch. But beyond that I’m not so sure…
@ Fat Tony – Good but they gotta be completely unrelated if possible. Libraries, librarians? Hmmm…
December 18th, 2009 at 1:13 am
I’ve got books but I’m not a bookie.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:21 am
@ Lisa – I’m not discounting the possibility that you might have done other things in the time in between, but still… That took two hours.
What’s the bets I can come up with one in less than a minute? I’m soooo sad. Still check the time stamp and….
December 18th, 2009 at 1:21 am
@Eoin – Okay, Round 2, ya bastich!
I’ve got sense but I’m not a censor.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:22 am
I’ve got a home but I’m not a homeopath
December 18th, 2009 at 1:24 am
I’ve got columns but I’m not a columnist
December 18th, 2009 at 1:34 am
I’ve got a butt but I’m no Butler.
Booyeah!
December 18th, 2009 at 1:49 am
I’ll give you that one CK…
December 18th, 2009 at 1:50 am
I’m going to veto the columns-but-not-a-columnist thing on the grounds that the two are related.
I’ve got arms but I’m not an army – HA! Also fits in with the original song.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:56 am
No, I meant I’ve got columns on the front of my house but I don’t have any newspaper columns.
Also Lisa, with your adrenalin junkie lifestyle, you do technically constitute an army of one so. So again sorry.
Eoin 2 – Lisa 0
December 18th, 2009 at 1:58 am
I’ve got pots but I’m not a potholer.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:59 am
I’ve got customs but I’m not a customs officer
December 18th, 2009 at 2:01 am
I’ve got calves but I’m not a dairy farmer
December 18th, 2009 at 2:01 am
I’ve got a copy of the latest edition of Cosmo Girl but I’m not a cosmonaut
December 18th, 2009 at 2:04 am
You no idea how many brain cells i killed coming up with this but…I’ve got dermot (first cousin)but i’m not a dermatologist
December 18th, 2009 at 2:06 am
I’ve got brushes but I’m not Brush Shiels
December 18th, 2009 at 2:12 am
I’ve got a dick but I’m not a dictator.
Get me coat yea?
December 18th, 2009 at 2:14 am
I’ve got twin-tip skis but I’m not a twin.
December 18th, 2009 at 2:23 am
@ Tony – is good
@ Steo – this also is good
@ Lisa – you’re going to need about a year in Winter Sports Anonymous before you’re able to readjust to Irish society…!
December 18th, 2009 at 2:33 am
Got a life but I ain’t no lifeguard
yes please give a pridze!!
December 18th, 2009 at 2:35 am
@Eoin: yes, but the first step is wanting to stop…
So my final contributions: I’ve got (ski) poles but I’m not Polish. Or else I’ve got bruises (from crashing into a tree today – for real) but I’m not a bruiser.
December 18th, 2009 at 7:39 am
I got rad but I’m no radiator…
I’ve got grass but I’m not a Westie…
December 18th, 2009 at 9:29 am
I’ve got yellow (by Coldplay) but I’m not Yellowstone National Park.
December 18th, 2009 at 9:31 am
I’ve got carpets but I’m not a carpenter
December 18th, 2009 at 9:45 am
I’ve got cards but I’m not a cardinal.
December 18th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Oh this is fun. My turn my turn….
I’ve got stew but I’m not a student.
I’ve got game but I’m not a gamekeeper.
I’ve got a crypt but I’m not a cryptographer.
December 18th, 2009 at 1:16 pm
I’ve got pie but I’m not a pilot.
December 18th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
I have a coment but I’m not a comentator
December 18th, 2009 at 7:59 pm
I’m a pom but I’m not a pomegranate.
I can climb but I’m not a climatologist…
December 19th, 2009 at 1:14 pm
i’ve got a willie but i’m not willie joe padden
December 19th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
I’ve got the ambience but I’m not an ambulance…
I’ve got wind but I’m not a winnebago…
I’ve got fleas but I’m not John Cleese…
Not sure on the rhyming of that one, do end rhymes count?
December 19th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
Okay, favourites are
1. Golden Graham’s “I’ve Got a Crypt But I’m Not a Cryptographer” (wtf!)
2. Fat Tony’s “I’ve Got Dermot but I’m Not a Dermatologist” and
3. Padraig’s “I’ve Got Fleas But I’m Not John Cleese”
December 19th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
there was a young man from ‘haunis
who’s ears were so small it would taunt us
said he with a nappy
while i hope to be happy
baby shit stories will haunt us
look no one explained the rules ok
December 19th, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Conal. I have only one question. I think you know what I’d is.
December 19th, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Sorry, typing this on my phone… I think you know what *it* is.
December 20th, 2009 at 3:46 am
look, i’m in amsterdam
its 5am ish in the morning
i’m not going to get into the whole blame game of who is and who isnt making sense
talk thursday
December 20th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I think you’ve answered my question.
December 21st, 2009 at 8:44 am
I got drunk but I’m not a drunkard
December 23rd, 2009 at 1:06 am
Just gazing over at the fruit bowl:
I’ve got apples but I’m not Appalachian.
I’ve got oranges but I’m not a member of the Orange Order.
I’ve got bananas but I’m not a Banana Republic customer.
I’ve got plums but I’m not a plumber.
I’ve got too much time on my hands…