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Norm’s opening lines…

“How’s a beer sound, Norm?”
“I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.”

“Whatcha up to Norm?”
“My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.” Read the rest of this entry »

Faith Alive

1. Down with this sort of thing… Saudi woman beats up virtue cop.

2. That’ll learn him! (1) Pakistani barber trims Muslim man’s beard. In retaliation, a mob breaks his ribs, wrist and legs… and then rape him.

3. A Mormon checks in to a hotel. As he’s leaving the front desk, he says to the clerk “By the way, I hope your porn is disabled.” Read the rest of this entry »

“What are the perks? I imagine it’s like being a mobster. You walk into a grocery store and get bumped to the front of the queue…”

PAUL GALVIN
The GAA badboy reveals a surprise fondness for ladies clothing

What’s the mood in the Kerry camp on the eve of the championship? I’m going to take a wild guess and say “confident”…
I suppose you could say we’re confident. (laughs) We’re confident every year. It’s impossible to know how things will pan out. But we’re optimistic.

Kerry are reigning champions. Where do you see the biggest threat to your title coming from this year?
Well, Cork are obviously the hot favourites. They’ve made no secret of their ambitions and they’re the team to beat. The Dubs have changed tack. They look a more savvy bunch this year. They’re more defensively minded, more aggressive. And Tyrone are definitely going to be back there with another sting in the tail. Read the rest of this article here.

Now here’s a politician I could get behind…

For what it’s worth, Alabama is in the south-east of the United States. So cowboys aren’t even native to that state. Either way, if Dale Peterson is to be stopped, I can think of only one man with the cojones to do it. And that’s this guy!

Miscellaneous Amusing Items I’ve Come Across #36

Want to know what I hate more than anything else in the world?

A few years ago, my friend Neil and I spent three months backpacking across South America. We hiked to the famous Inca ruins at Machu Picchu, played football on the beach at Copacabana and even danced the tango in Buenos Aires. (Okay, that last bit is a lie. In Buenos Aires we took a guided tour of Boca Juniors’ football stadium, during which the only two words I understood were “Diego” and “Maradona”.)

The point is that, on our travels, we ate out quite a bit. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Funny

Click ‘continue watching’ after each one. The 30 second adverts are, admittedly, excessive. But some of the jokes are really wonderful.

Comment mutiny: swarm, swarm, swarm…

Apologies for not updating as often as I’ve have liked this week. I’ve been doing some top secret consultancy work for the government. We’re creating an elite mobile fighting unit to be deployed against the citizenry as the country goes down the toilet. I really can’t say any more than that. Rob and David – happy now?

Does Vanity Fair even know it has a heterosexual male readership? Does it care?

It’s one of the finest monthly magazines in the English language. Certainly, it’s the only one to keep me occupied through return transatlantic flights. But even at the best of times, I doubt many straight men would feel 100% comfortable being seen reading Vanity Fair in public. It doesn’t matter how mature, well adjusted and secure in your own masculinity you are. Sooner or later you’re going to find yourself weighing the quality of the journalism against how gay the cover is likely to make you look on the Luas. Read the rest of this entry »

More Cowbell (2000)

It was ten years ago last month that this classic SNL sketch first aired. When it has turned up on YouTube since then, it tends to be pulled down fairly quickly. So if you haven’t seen it before, hurry! Meanwhile, after the jump, I will single-handedly suck every last drop of fun out of the thing by rationalising exactly it’s so funny. Read the rest of this entry »