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Late Night Wars contd.

RAG Episode Four from DCTV on Vimeo.

Just found out my sister has her own chat show. I swear to God, no one tells me anything. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Funny

Doctor: You have a lettuce leaf growing out of your arse.

Patient: Jesus Christ. Is this serious? Read the rest of this entry »

Meltdown on the Property Market

It’s official. The Irish property market is on the brink of collapse. All that you have ever worked for is about be lost in the abyss of a new economic Dark Age, made more sinister and protracted by the twisted lights of perverted lending practices. The time to panic has come and gone. Your dream home is worthless now. Forget about it, it’s gone. If you can find someone to swap you a Lost Series One DVD box set for it, then grab that lifeline and grab it fast.

There may, however, be a silver lining in all of this. Look at it this way. You’ve tried the path of prudence. You’ve scrimped and saved and prostituted your talent to a faceless corporation. You’ve poured your heart and soul into an inanimate lump of concrete because that’s what society told you to do. And where did it get you? Sat on the kerb with a Lost DVD box set and nowhere to watch it.

What sensible person could therefore object if, for your next move, you let yourself be guided, not by the strait jacket of conventional wisdom, but by some whimsical impulse of your deranged imagination? I bet you’ve never given any serious consideration to any of these five exciting living scenarios. If not, why not? Read the rest of this entry »

Mr Carter (2008)

What a douchebag! What a slimey line!

It’s slightly counterintuitive, but as an interviewer, I’ve always found that the richer and more successful a person is, the less likely they are to be an arsehole. They’re at ease with themselves, I suppose, and therefore usually at ease with you. (Also they have PR people who can squelch you like a bug.)

On Thursday night, I spoke to Dave Matthews, of the Dave Matthews Band, who are playing the Point next month. They’re not an act I particularly care for, admittedly. But he was a pretty cool, self-aware guy and there was one question I really wanted to ask him. I didn’t broach it till the very end of the interview, in case he get offended or tell me to go fuck myself… Read the rest of this entry »

Lil’ Wayne / Big House

I love this guy. On Tuesday next, at the peak of his career, insane genius Lil’ Wayne reports to Rikers Island prison in New York to begin a 12 month sentence for gun possession. The rapper been pulling out all of the stops ahead of going inside. First, he kicked his longstanding cough medicine addiction – as you do.

Then he participated in an an all-star rerecording of shite charity song We Are the World – as you also do (provided your brain is addled from being addicted to cough medicine the previous decade.) Read the rest of this entry »

Earth to Zoolander! Earth to Zoolander!

The lesson, I think, for those seeking to satirise that which is already beyond satire… Why bother?

Go Speed Dater, Go

Went speed dating the other night. Came home, sat up for 12 hours straight and wrote a 1,500 word feature on it for Valentine’s Day issue of Irish Times magazine. Then slept pretty much 24 hours. Did all of this, incidentally, while in the throes of the most severe vomiting and going-to-the-bathroom-more-frequently-than-I-would-wish bug I have ever endured. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Funny

One of the most hilarious segments they ever ran on Late Night With Conan O’Brien. “Here’s a spoiler… you will die alone!”

King Charlies, Dame Street, Dublin 2

Just witnessed a rather wobbly Taoiseach Brian Cowen being escorted from this restaurant on Dame Street by two bouncers and his driver at approx. 1.15am tonight. Hopped into government Merc parked (I can only assume illegally) on the footpath a few yards down the street. Classy.