Ballyhaunis

“SINCE THEN EOIN’S LIFE HAS SPIRALLED INTO A HAZE OF HILARITY AND ADVENTURE…”

Not the first time I’ve posted this by any means. But it’s funny, so who cares. This is a wildly inaccurate profile of me done by a student paper in DCU in 2005. The interview really did take place. However, I dunno whether the guy’s Dictaphone malfunctioned, or if he suffered some sort of hallucinogen-induced flashback during the transcription process, but none of the quotations attributed to me are even remotely accurate. Read the rest of this entry »

THIS IS FUNNY

A neutron walks into a bar, orders a pint of Smithwicks and asks, “How much?” Read the rest of this entry »

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT THE FIRST TIME

It’s isn’t always easy to pinpoint the moment a session turns into a bender. The American writer P.J. O’Rourke reckons its when he finds himself carrying a drink (“a real drink, with ice cubes in a cocktail glass”) with him wherever he goes – to the bank, the supermarket or even into the shower. Read the rest of this entry »

MUST BE SANTA (2009)

Not the first (or second) time I’ve posted this video but, fuck, this is just so insanely brilliant I just gotta give it another spin. The guys who made it are geniuses.

YOU CAN NOW FOLLOW ME ON…

A year or so on, I’m still not entirely sure what Twitter does. Well no, I kinda know what it does… But not why anyone wants to do that… Feck it, subscribe here if you like. (With thanks to Nialler9!)

NIGHT ON THE GREAT RIVER

Steering my little boat towards a misty islet,
I watch the sun descend while my sorrows grow:
In the vast night the sky hangs lower than the treetops,
But in the blue lake the moon is coming close. Read the rest of this entry »

THIS ISN’T FUNNY*

Tried out new stand-up material on just about everyone I met earlier this week. There was one joke that absolutely everyone thought I shouldn’t use. I still think its kinda funny: Read the rest of this entry »

“SO I HEAR YOU’RE A RACIST… IS THIS THE NEW THING?”

“Ah Christ… Who told you?”

“I met Tina in Tescos the other night.”

“For fuck’s sake… He was a Malaysian fella in a Malaysian restaurant wearing a black shirt… Anyone could have made the same mistake.” Read the full article here.

ADMIN BLUES

Productivity has bottomed out. Our department is now so far behind on processing claims that the clients who made the claims in the first place have now forgotten ever doing so. Coming up with the goods at this remove only seems to annoy them further. Doing nothing actually makes more sense. Read the rest of this article here.

Published: Mongrel Magazine, February 2005

Admin Blues

Productivity has bottomed out. Our department is now so far behind on processing claims that the clients who made the claims in the first place have forgotten ever doing so. Coming up with the goods at this remove only seems to annoy them further. Doing nothing actually seems the more prudent course of action. Read the rest of this entry »