Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
Ballyhaunis
“As we mosey along the riverbank, it becomes clear that we’re not alone…”
We’re being discreetly observed from a distance by an officer from North Connacht Fisheries. Given how late in the day we’ve arrived, Gearoid explains, coupled with our relative youth, the officer likely suspects that we haven’t a permit to fish here. He has no business with us though, until our line is in the water, so he hangs back like an apache in an old Western stalking us from atop a nearby ridge. Read the rest of this article here.
ADMIN BLUES
“Is anyone watching that Celebrity Farm?”
No takers, but she’s undeterred. The girl is a conversational terrorist. No topic too banal. Read the rest of this article here.
JUST LIKE A BABY (1971)
THIS IS FUNNY*
A door to door sales rep knocks on the door of an ordinary semidetached house. It’s answered by an eight year old boy, dressed in stockings and suspenders, with a fat cigar in one hand, and a large glass of red wine in the other. Read the rest of this entry »
THE TAYTO YEARS
This week, I’ve been inveigled into writing on the topic ‘Food Memories of the 1980s’. It’s kind of a tall order, given that I was only a small boy during that decade. It was all a blur of penny sweets and Subbuteo as far as I can recall .
Go on, they said. There must be a few special Eighties food memories that stick out… Well, there was that time Duran Duran dropped by my house and we ate Rice Krispie Buns and played Space Invaders together.
Really, they gasped? No, of course not. Read the rest of this article here.
THIS IS FUNNY
Published: Mongrel Magazine, October 2004Admin Blues
I may appear polite, even deferential, to the spineless jobsworths who populate my workplace. But I despise them, and I despise their petty politics. Their meaningless office-speak is this company’s unofficial vernacular. Mastery of that, as well as an ability to smile like a simpleton in any situation, is what passes for professionalism around here. The head of my department is particularly fluent:
“With er… regard to the salary review you were promised, as such, we are presently not in a position to implement any… increases, as such, going forward… at this time.” Read the rest of this entry »
LE BATEAU IVRE
I followed deadpan Rivers down and down,
And knew my haulers had let go the ropes.
Whooping redskins took my men as targets
And nailed them nude to technicolour posts. Read the rest of this entry »
ARLINGTON HOTEL
Transformer robots… High School Musical dolls… Selection Boxes and bottles of Jameson… When it comes to Christmas shopping, my great aunt Geraldine likes to get the job done early. Her annual trip to Dublin is the stuff of legend. And, let’s just say, her shopping prowess is only half the story.
It’s lunchtime. The shopping bags have been discarded. And the Westport train doesn’t leave until six. Auntie Geraldine, though, is putting the G&Ts away like they were on special offer. Read the rest of this entry »
YOU GOTTA CLICK…
(N.B. This is now the most clicked link the history of my site. I’m moving it to the top again on the grounds of its insane brilliance. Ho ho ho…)