Ballyhaunis

I’M RICH… RICH BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS!*

(*Disclaimer #1: My dreams aren’t very wild. Disclaimer #2: I don’t know if I’ve ever actually had a dream about money.) But fuck it, if you’ve ever been tempted to abduct, murder and rob me of every penny I’ve got, now would definitely be the time to do it. Read the rest of this entry »

THIS IS FUNNY

Told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. Read the rest of this entry »

MISCELLANEOUS AMUSING ITEMS I’VE COME ACROSS #17

Well, someone’s certainly put some pep in this college’s step! (Needs sound.) With thanks to my friend Michael Freeman who may, or may not, be weighing up a career in veterinary office management…

OVERHEARD AT THE LAST SUPPER…

Apostle #1: Anyone else think Judas is acting kinda weird?
Apostle #2: Yeah, he’s really shifty tonight.
Apostle #3: Also, he’s the only one of us without a halo. Which I think is pretty suspicious…

“THAT WASN’T A SKETCH… IT WAS A MASSIVE SPASTIC FUCK-UP!”

Running for 89 episodes between 1992 and 1998, The Larry Sanders was one of the funniest and most innovative television shows ever made. Based on the travails of neurotic talk show host Larry Sanders (Garry Shandling), his buffoonish sidekick Hank Kingsley (Jeffrey Tambor) and their shitkicking producer Artie (Rip Torn), the show was scripted by a team of crack writers that included Jon Vitti (The Simpsons) and Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, Superbad), as well as Shandling himself and his writing partner Peter Tolan.

It also boasted a strong supporting cast of actors who, in many cases, would go on to greater acclaim in their own right (among them Jeremy Piven, Sarah Silverman, Janeane Garafalo). Read the rest of this entry »

FAITH ALIVE

1. Holy stampede, Batman… Foolish people behaving foolishly in Knock (skip to 6min 15sec), where the real Mary definitely, definitely appeared in similar circumstances in 1879.

2. Anti-gay marriage Miss California explains why Jesus would undoubtedly have approved of fake boobs if they’d been around in his day. Read the rest of this entry »

HOLIDAY ROAD (1983)

My quest for the perfect DVD box set is at an end. This evening I chanced up National Lampoon’s Vacation Collection – comprising the Griswald’s original, European, Christmas and Vegas vacations – and it has already cheered me up no end. Read the rest of this entry »

WHAT PEACHES AND WHAT PENUMBRAS! WHOLE FAMILIES SHOPPING AT NIGHT!

Hit the DVD place afterwards tonight, more out of habit than with any particular plan of attack. I mooch around the box sets, aimless now that the Wire’s seemingly endless Bataan Death March is finally over. All have short, non-descriptive titles: House, Rome, Lost, The Shield. I have no idea what any of them are about or if they’re any good. Probably not. Probably not. Read the rest of this entry »

GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUGS: JUNE 12, 1970

Pittsburgh Pirates pitcher Dock Ellis throws a no-hitter – the baseball equivalent of a 147 break, as far as I can tell (see after the jump) – while tripping on acid.
Read the rest of this entry »

LAME JOKES BOB DYLAN HAS TOLD ONSTAGE WHILE INTRODUCING HIS BAND (1988 – 2009)

“At the back, the meanest drummer in the world. When we played in the Middle East, he killed the Dead Sea… David Kemper!”

“You might be wondering what’s written on his shoes – those are foot notes!” Read the rest of this entry »