Ballyhaunis

When I’m in charge, this scene will be replicated in classrooms the world over:

Ideally, the teacher wouldn’t look like she was being forced to sing the song at gunpoint. But sure you can’t have it all. Read the rest of this entry »

The Tayto Years

This week, I’ve been inveigled into writing on the topic ‘Food Memories of the 1980s’. It’s kind of a tall order, given that I was only a small boy during that decade. It was all a blur of penny sweets and Subbuteo as far as I can recall .

Go on, they said. There must be a few special Eighties food memories that stick out… Well, there was that time Duran Duran dropped by my house and we ate Rice Krispie Buns and played Space Invaders together.

Really, they gasped? No, of course not. Read the rest of this article here.

No, nay, never… freckle-boy

In the late 1990s, Amy Poehler was a sketch regular on Late Night With Conan O’Brien, playing sidekick Andy Richter’s little sister Stacy. It was basically the same bit, recycled over and over again. But somehow it managed never to stop being funny. Read the rest of this entry »

Rocks Off (1972)

“The sunshine bores the daylights out of me…” Listened to this today for the first time in a long time. It’s even fucking better than I remembered it. My favourite rock n’ roll track of all time. Easy.

Published: Irish Times, March 15th 2008

“East Mayo’s best kept secret…”

“Boasts picturesque meat factory and rendering plant. Car park an ideal location for pulling hand-break turns…” Read the rest of this article here.

The March of the Wooden Soldiers

Forever let this place be a cry of despair
And a warning to humanity, where the Nazis
murdered about one and a half million men,
women and children, mainly Jews,
from various countries of Europe”
Inscription at Auschwitz-Birkenau Read the rest of this article here.

They’ve asked me to play Santa Claus… Well, it’s hardly a good sign, is it?

It’s Saturday night and Aidan is down in the dumps. I’m not sure what his problem is. But no doubt he’s going to fill me in. He’s not a man to bottle these things up, that’s for sure. “Would you say I’m getting fat?” he asks, eventually. Read the rest of this article here.

And finally…

Anne Marie Mularkey. The gorgeous Anne Marie… Jaysus, now you’re taking me back. Swanned into French one day like she was God’s gift. Threw her schoolbag on an empty table and plonked down on a chair. Anne Marie was tall and elegant, with the saddest brown eyes I’d ever seen. She had a face like a shovel, of course, but that only added to her allure. Girl blew that fringe out from her eyes and swung back in the chair. And, with that, I fell in love. Read the rest of this article here.

“I’ll be leavin’ in the mornin’, soon as the dark clouds lift…”

Still in Ballyhaunis after the long weekend. Must say I’m always a bit surprised at how many people here seem to read this blog. The ones I spoke to over the weekend were unanimous on one point. “Fuck’s sake Butler,” an old school friend chided. “If I read that bloody International Bar story one more time, I’m going to slit my wrists.” Read the rest of this entry »

“You’ve heard of the Loch Ness Monster, right? The fact is that there are dozens of these lake creatures all over the world…”

Since 2008, I’ve been doing a weekly Q&A interview at the front of the Irish Times Saturday Magazine. This is the only one they’ve ever refused to print. I interviewed a preacher who was about to address a creationism rally in Lucan. The Irish Times refused to publish it on the grounds that the guy was nuts. My position was that of course the guy was nuts, that was precisely why I interviewed him in the first place. Sanity prevailed, unfortunately… Read the rest of this article here.