Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
Ballyhaunis
Published: Irish Times, June 14th 2008ON FATHER’S DAY
Every time the seasons change I think about my father. In early spring I see him jotting down the names and dates-of-birth of his latest crop of Under-10s, gleefully identifying future corner-backs and budding centre-fielders. When the sun comes out in May, I envision us striking out for the beach at Enniscrone. (You always know when it’s summer there, he’d say, because the old ladies wear their overcoats unbuttoned.) In August, he’s picking blackberries to make jam. And when the frosts return in late November, he’s making breadcrumbs for the birds that come to forage in our garden. Read the rest of this entry »
PUB WITH NO NAME
Before I begin this week, I’d like to address a few words to the Garda Traffic Bureau: Officers, lads… I know we’ve had our differences down the years. We’ve both said things that, in the cold light of day, we probably regret. But look what you’ve reduced me to. I’m using public transport. Dear God, hasn’t this madness gone far enough? Read the rest of this entry »
The top 5 funniest thing people said to me when my father died
The recent death of my father was undoubtedly the least funny event of my entire life. It came as a savage shock to me, like a stranger approaching me on the street and punching me in the face. Now I find myself banjaxed with grief: for my father, for my family and for myself. Read the rest of this entry »
THE HORSESHOE BAR
Baaam! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? It’s Friday night and I’m chilling in Ireland’s most exclusive bar. Finally, it somehow feels like I’m amongst my own kind. Before I order a drink though, I’ve got a few old scores to settle. I press the mobile phone to my ear. It’s ringing. Read the rest of this entry »
And finally…
[It was Mongrel editor Michael Freeman who came up with the idea for the ‘And Finally…’ articles. Each month, for the back page of the magazine, he would ask a different writer to contribute 650 words on any subject they wished. The only catch was that the piece had to reference the same random photo (right) and incorporate the same ludicrous pull quote “like a ferret trying to escape from a jar of silly putty”. To this day, I still don’t actually know what silly putty is…]
Anne Marie Mularkey. The gorgeous Anne Marie… Jaysus, now you’re taking me back. Swanned into French one day like she was God’s gift. Threw her schoolbag on an empty table and plonked down on a chair. Anne Marie was tall and elegant, with the saddest brown eyes I’d ever seen. She had a face like a shovel, of course, but that only added to her allure. Girl blew that fringe out from her eyes and swung back in the chair. And, with that, I fell in love. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, May 10 2008THE BUTLER HARA-KIRI GAMBIT
‘You’re not doing very well, I’m afraid.” It’s Wednesday morning and Eamon Keogh and I are playing chess on the banks of the Grand Canal. It’s a glorious sunny day and a gaggle of swans have glided over to see what’s going on. But the two-time Irish champion is unimpressed. He tuts quietly and leans across the table to offer some constructive criticism.
“Both of those were terrible moves, to be honest with you,” he says. “I mean, your first move was bad. But the second is practically an international disaster.” He shakes his head. There are many renowned opening strategies in chess. This one I’m calling the ‘Butler Hara-Kiri Gambit’. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Evening Herald, Septemer 2006The International Bar
Perusing the Sunday papers in the International Bar, something suddenly strikes me. I hate the Sunday papers. The first six days of the week, newspaper articles tend to begin with sentences like ‘The government has announced…’, ‘Sources in Timbuktu report…’ or ‘Grave robbers in Ballyjamesduff have stolen…’
But come Sunday, all that goes out the window. Suddenly, it’s all ‘Is Bebo turning our children into zombies?’ or ‘Can worrying about my bum give me swine flu?’ The answer, invariably, is ‘Almost certainly not… But here’s 2,000 words and a photograph of Jennifer Aniston (for some reason) just for the hell of it’. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, October 18, 2008THE TAYTO YEARS
This week, I’ve been inveigled into writing on the topic ‘Food Memories of the 1980s’. It’s kind of a tall order, given that I was only a small boy during that decade. It was all a blur of penny sweets and Subbuteo as far as I can recall .
Go on, they said. There must be a few special Eighties food memories that stick out… Well, there was that time Duran Duran dropped by my house and we ate Rice Krispie Buns and played Space Invaders together.
Really, they gasped? No, of course not. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Irish Times, February 9 2008THIS IS NOT A JOKE SHOP. THIS IS AN ADULT FETISH SHOP. SERIOUS SHOPPERS ONLY.
“This is not a Joke Shop” warns the sign at the entrance to Basic Instincts in Dublin’s Temple Bar. “This is an Adult Fetish Shop. Serious shoppers only.” It is with as much solemnity as I can muster then, that I press the buzzer and step inside. The shelves are stocked with adult DVDs, magazines and toys. Commanding pride of place at the front of the store though is a mind-boggling assortment of bondage and S.&M. paraphenalia.
This may not be a joke shop. But my basic instinct is to laugh. Nervously. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Mongrel magazine, September 2005Two of these individuals participated in this interview… your guess as good as mine
[N.B. Minutes before or after (I can’t remember which) yesterday’s tête-à-tête with Flaming Lips’ mainman Wayne Coyne, I interviewed two unidentified members of the Arcade Fire. They weren’t very famous then. I assumed I was talking to Win and Regine. But when “Win” started referring to himself in the third person, it occurred to me that this wasn’t necessarily the case. For the published piece, I called them Will (Win’s brother) and Regine. But to be honest, for all I know, I could have been talking to anyone that day. I was pretty high on life back then. Like really, really high on life…] Read the rest of this entry »