Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
Eoin Butler
Never in the field of tabloid hackery has a reporter stooped so low for so little
Admittedly, I’ve seen sleazier tabloid stories in my time. (The Sunday Express’ Dunblane massacre survivors hit job is the absolute nadir.) But what’s really remarkable about this piece, by Irish Daily Mirror “showbiz” correspondent Paul Martin, is how low the reporter is willing to go for so very little. Read the rest of this entry »
This is Funny
Absolutely nothing to add here. But, aesthetically, I really hate posting consecutive images without text. So I’m going to waffle a bit until I’ve generated two short paragraphs of meaningless text to break them up. My grandmother and her friends used to do this thing at wakes where they would freestyle for hours on end, riffing about different people they knew, and how they were all related to each other.
Do you know Seamie Lyons? I do, from Kilmovee, he’d be a first cousin of the Snees would he? That’s right, is there one of the Snees, now that I think of it, married to a guard out in Glann? There is, yeah, and that fella has an uncle on his mother’s side would be on of the Neachtans from Culnacleha, a quantity surveyor. Do you know? I do. They have a son a priest in America, don’t they? What’s this his name is again? And so on, ad infinitum. Thank you.
Unusual competition prizes #1: Grope Thierry Henry’s testicles
As the man said, if you’re not in, you can’t indecently assault a famous footballer.
Ireland to Israel: “If any harm comes to any of our citizens, it will have the most serious consequences.”
Wow, Ireland is flexing it’s muscles on the international stage. Our Taoiseach is throwing his weight around, if you will. To observers in some quarters it could seem bizarre, comical even, that a nuclear-armed Middle Eastern superpower would be threatened in such a manner by a remote island nation whose armed forces consist of a man, a rife and a sheep dog.
Let’s not forget, however, that Israel has crossed this country once before in recent months. The Dubai assassinations in February were carried out by Israeli agents travelling on fake Irish passports. Well, Israel, there’s an old saying in Ireland… Actually, it’s a saying in Mayo, but it’s probably in Ireland too: Read the rest of this entry »
Faith Alive
1. Just as I was almost tiring of this segment… This story relit my fire!
2. Ugandan pastor has done some research on homosexuality. Long story short, STOP EATING DA POO POO!!
3. Three Jesuses living in one house and its 1957 – why the fuck isn’t this a reality show? Read the rest of this entry »
This is Funny
Holmes and Watson are on a camping trip. On their first night away, they lie in their camp beds looking upwards. “Look at the cosmos, Watson” says Holmes. “What does it suggest to you?”
“To me,” replies Watson, “It suggests the insignificance of man and the infinite power of an Almighty who created such a wondrous universe… What about you old boy?” Read the rest of this entry »
Take Care of All My Children (1984)
Published: Mongrel magazine, December 2007Mind That Child!
Life’s no picnic for a mild-mannered, self-deprecating, sound as a pound, suburban stay-at-home Dad… Just ask old muggins here! When our two were born, I decided to opt out of the rat race and become their full time primary care giver. Somehow, it just felt right. Also, I’d been stealing large quantities of office supplies over a number of years, so it seemed prudent to quit while I was ahead. Read the rest of this entry »
Nothin’ on You (2010)
Okay, I’m outing myself. I fucking love this track. I don’t care what anyone else thinks. My favourite couplet from the song has to be “Baby you’re the whole package / and you pay your taxes!” (See, that’s why I could never date Lester Piggott…) Read the rest of this entry »
For the first time in living memory, the office becomes a hive of activity…
Expensive fragrances waft through the corridors. Hemlines rise inexoribly. In one corner of the office there appears to be an orange make-up death match underway – it’s like there’s a team of Oompa-Loompas suddenly pitching in! Read the rest of this article here.