irish times

Miscellaneous Amusing Items I’ve Come Across #29

All the time Fox News, all the time…

“We’ve got a connection with this place called Ireland. But that country doesn’t exist anymore…”

Have you seen the film The Departed ? That’s what Coatbridge is like. It’s almost like we’ve stepped out of a time capsule. Ireland has moved on and we’re left with this leprechaun culture. Read the rest of this article here.

Don’t Explain (1944)

No, nay, never… freckle-boy

In the late 1990s Amy Poehler was a sketch regular on Late Night With Conan O’Brien, playing sidekick Andy Richter’s little sister Stacy. The genius of this bit was that it basically recycled the same routine over and over again, but somehow never stopped being funny. Read the rest of this entry »

They called it ‘perhaps the most shameful night in our community’s history…’

But what about that time the handicapped boy was locked in a phone box and he pissed himself? What about then?? Read the rest of this article here.

Just Call Me Betty

Tell me if this is weird or not… A week on, Crystal Swing’s raunchy He Drinks Tequila is still playing on a constant rotation in my head. Stranger still, when I hum the song to myself, and it comes to the ‘And just call me baby’ line… for some reason I keep singing ‘And just call me Betty.’ Even though I know those aren’t the words. Read into that what you will, Mr Freud! Read the rest of this entry »

I Know It’s Over (1986)

Album filler turned live tour de force. Very specially for Colin!

Is a Woman (2002)

Twenty Benson & Hedges, chewing gum and a packet of tmm-pmms…

The shop assistant squints. “What?” Aidan whispers it again. “A packet of tampons!” Read the rest of this article here.

What peaches and what penumbras! Whole families shopping at night!

Find myself mooching around the supermarket again tonight. I swear to God, I never know what I want to eat. I’m pretty sure I hate microwave lasagne. But if I do another lap of the aisles, maybe I’ll like microwave lasagne. It’s weird how it works.

The Adrian Kennedy Phone Show is being piped in. He’s talking to the publisher of a new Irish pornographic magazine. As usual, the city’s emptiest vessels will be invited to air their imbecilic thoughts once the phone lines open. But first the host gets the ball rolling. Read the rest of this entry »