irish times

IN YOUR FACE HOUDINI: ILLUSIONIST ESCAPES RAPE CHARGES

Ilusionist David Copperfield will not be facing charges over allegations of sexual assault made against him. Yeah, I know… who gives a shit? But check out the hilariously sleazy image the Huffington Post used to illustrate their report (not the same image as above.) Egads, it really begs the question… How is this man not a rapist? I mean, look at him. That’s your case right there! Read the rest of this entry »

THIS IS FUNNY

As previously mentioned, I’m a huge fan of Conan O’Brien and am, therefore, hugely disappointed to see that he’s been given the elbow after only seven months presenting The Tonight Show. Not to worry, he’ll be back. In the meantime, here he is at his best. Interviewing the world’s leading bread expert.

Higgins ‘Gutted’ Over Choice Music Prize Snub

Singer-songwriter, nice guy and general old-mucker-of-mine Ollie Higgins released a statement tonight admitting he’s “gutted” his Grand Stretch in the Evenings album was overlooked by the judges of the Choice Music Prize this year. Magnanimous to a fault, Ollie pays tribute to all the nominees. But his own exclusion, he attributes frankly to “politics plain and simple”. Read the rest of this entry »

“Got any… You know… New Year’s resolutions… There yourself?”

I’m staying off the cigarettes, I tell him.

He stares into space. Time passes. Empires rise and fall. Species evolve and become extinct. Then he speaks.

“But you don’t smoke,” he replies. Deadpan. Read the rest of this article here.

LITTLE OLD WINE DRINKER ME (1967)

Overheard this song in a shop this evening. It was a big favourite of my father’s, which was kind of ironic, since he didn’t actually drink himself. It brought a tear to my eye, I must admit. It also reminded me of a very lame old joke told (I think) by Tommy Cooper… Read the rest of this entry »

NOTICE

THIS IS FUNNY

Just finished reading a book today called The History of Glue… Read the rest of this entry »

FOR THAT GLORIOUS ONE-TENTH OF A MILE, THE DASHBOARD SAID:

Go boobs!

I WAS BORN IN A BLIZZARD

…Or so my mother has just told me. Reckon that’s gotta be the title track on my upcoming classic rock album. “I was born in a blizzard / papa was a lizard / as we rode motorcycles cross burning bridges on a highway to hell…” Or something like that.

THIS NIGHT HAS OPENED MY EYES (1983)

Listened to this song first when I was about thirteen. Still give me the same weird chill today. Read the rest of this entry »