pope john paul ii

“I keep a careful record of these, since they might one day provide the basis for a plea of Guilty But Insane…”

Dear John Paul,

It is with considerable confusion that I acknowledge receipt of your letter of the 21st.

I am aware that you are the Supreme Head of the Roman Catholic Church and that I write album reviews. What I fail to understand is how this makes us rivals. Read the rest of this article here.

Isn’t Sinead O’Connor overdue a massive, grovelling apology from absolutely everybody?

In 1992, Sinead O’Connor ripped up a photograph of Pope John Paul II on Saturday Night Live as a protest against paedophilia in the Catholic Church and the complicity of the church hierarchy. It was viewed as an act of career suicide. The following day, steamrollers crushed hundreds of her CDs outside Rockefeller Center to huge cheers from protesters. On the next SNL, presenter Joe Pesci quipped that “if it had been my show, I would have gave her such a smack.”

A few days later, O’Connor was booed off the stage at a Bob Dylan Tribute in Madison Square Garden. (That last clip is particularly well worth watching, by the way, both for the virulence of the abuse directed towards her, and the courage with which she stands up to it.) Read the rest of this entry »

Faith Alive

1. What’s the difference between a saint and a masochist? Not a whole lot, provided you’re the Pope.

2. “The Lord directed that I go to the sun tanning salon and get sun tanned more evenly on their suntanning beds.” A fascinating (and, on balance, pretty sympathetic) snapshot of life inside the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Latter Day Saints from this month’s National Geographic. Read the rest of this entry »

Published: Mongrel Magazine, October 2004

Admin Blues

I may appear polite, even deferential, to the spineless jobsworths who populate my workplace. But I despise them, and I despise their petty politics. Their meaningless office-speak is this company’s unofficial vernacular. Mastery of that, as well as an ability to smile like a simpleton in any situation, is what passes for professionalism around here. The head of my department is particularly fluent:

“With er… regard to the salary review you were promised, as such, we are presently not in a position to implement any… increases, as such, going forward… at this time.” Read the rest of this entry »

FAITH ALIVE

1. Christian fundamentalist advertises his pro-life credentials by killing abortion doctor.
2. Boy chosen by Dalai Lama as reincarnation of spiritual leader corrupted by exposure to bad Eddie Murphy film, turns back on Buddhist order.
3. Non-ironic news headline of the week (from the Salt Lake Tribune): Evil-doers take back door into heaven. Incidentally, some non-Mormons posthumously baptised into the Church of Latter Day Saints include Pope John Paul II, Christopher Columbus, Anne Frank and (of course) Adolph Hitler.