Eoin Butler: writer, journalist and Mayoman of the Year
Tripping Along The Ledge
scottish provident
“I keep a careful record of these, since they might one day provide the basis for a plea of Guilty But Insane…”
Dear John Paul,
It is with considerable confusion that I acknowledge receipt of your letter of the 21st.
I am aware that you are the Supreme Head of the Roman Catholic Church and that I write album reviews. What I fail to understand is how this makes us rivals. Read the rest of this article here.
What begins as a few isolated titters soon swells….
…with the help of a few nudges and discreet whispers, until soon the entire room is convulsed with laughter. Read the rest of this article here.
Admin Blues
“Is anyone watching that Celebrity Farm?”
No takers, but she’s undeterred. The girl is a conversational terrorist. No topic too banal. Read the rest of this article here.
For the first time in living memory, the office becomes a hive of activity…
Expensive fragrances waft through the corridors. Hemlines rise inexoribly. In one corner of the office there appears to be an orange make-up death match underway – it’s like there’s a team of Oompa-Loompas suddenly pitching in! Read the rest of this article here.
Admin Blues
I may appear polite, even deferential, to the spineless jobsworths who populate my workplace. But I despise them, and I despise their petty politics. Their meaningless office-speak is this company’s unofficial vernacular. Mastery of that, as well as an ability to smile like a simpleton in any situation, is what passes for professionalism around here. The head of my department is particularly fluent:
“With er… regard to the salary review you were promised, as such, we are presently not in a position to implement any… increases, as such, going forward… at this time.”
Days later I catch him pouring vodka into a vase in his office. I don’t tell anyone. But I make a conscious decision to do a lot more dossing, going forward.Read the rest of this article here.
ADMIN BLUES
Productivity has bottomed out. Our department is now so far behind on processing claims that the clients who made the claims in the first place have now forgotten ever doing so. Coming up with the goods at this remove only seems to annoy them further. Doing nothing actually makes more sense. Read the rest of this article here.
Admin Blues
Productivity has bottomed out. Our department is now so far behind on processing claims that the clients who made the claims in the first place have forgotten ever doing so. Coming up with the goods at this remove only seems to annoy them further. Doing nothing actually seems the more prudent course of action. Read the rest of this entry »
ADMIN BLUES
“Is anyone watching that Celebrity Farm?”
No takers, but she’s undeterred. The girl is a conversational terrorist. No topic too banal. Read the rest of this article here.
Published: Mongrel Magazine, December 2004ADMIN BLUES
“Is anyone watching that Celebrity Farm?”
No takers, but she’s undeterred. The girl is a conversational terrorist. No topic too banal. Read the rest of this entry »
Published: Mongrel Magazine, October 2004ADMIN BLUES
I may appear polite, even deferential, to the spineless jobsworths who populate my workplace. But I despise them, and I despise their petty politics. Their meaningless office-speak is this company’s unofficial vernacular. Mastery of that, as well as an ability to smile like a simpleton in any situation, is what passes for professionalism around here. The head of my department is particularly fluent:
“With er… regard to the salary review you were promised, as such, we are presently not in a position to implement any… increases, as such, going forward… at this time.”
Days later I catch him pouring vodka into a vase in his office. I don’t tell anyone. But I make a conscious decision to do a lot more dossing, going forward.Read the rest of this article here.